1 Corinthians 12
12 – The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
13 – For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body-whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free-and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
14 – Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.
25 – there should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other.
26 – If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
27 – Now you are the body of Christ, and each of you is a part of it.
Ephesians 4
11 – It was He Who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers,
12 – to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up
13 – until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 – Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.
15 – Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him Who is the Head, that is, Christ.
16 – From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Have you ever sincerely believed that something was true-and then later discovered that it was false and in fact was nothing more than an “old wives tale?” Well, you’re not alone. In fact, this is such a common occurrence that several web sites have been formed where readers post-and then discuss-these false truths, which are referred to these days as, “urban myths.” It’s very interesting to read through these popular “myth-conceptions”-because some of them contain just enough “sense” to make it really hard to know whether or not they are true.
Let me share some of them with you now along with some true statements-and you’ll see what I mean. I’ll read them one at a time and then we’ll vote to see who believes they are factual. Here’s the first one:
o A penny dropped from the top of the Empire State Building will embed itself in the pavement.
How many of you think that is true? I’ve heard it for years but it is FALSE. I guess you could say that believing a penny would do that makes no “cents.” How about this one:
o You can send a coconut through the US MAIL without wrapping it.
How many of you think that is TRUE? It is! I don’t think mail men, like our own Kevin Green, would want this to be widely known, but you can mail a coconut-as is-to your friends! Now, this next one really got me thinking.
o If the entire population of China jumped up and down at the same time, the earth’s orbit would be disturbed.
Before you vote, let me remind you-they have over a billion people over there! How many of you think that if those billion people-average weight of say 150 pounds-jumped up and then down-hard-at the exact same time it would affect our planet’s orbit?
Well…it wouldn’t. That is a false belief-a great example of an urban myth. Here’s another one.
o Albert Einstein did poorly in school.
I have heard this frequently but it is also not true. Sometimes this brilliant man forgot to wear socks but he did great in school! One more:
o Some Oregon highway workers blew up a whale and the resulting explosion showered a nearby town with blubber.
This one is true-it really happened. I imagine that ever since, the residents of this town have carried heavy duty umbrellas!
Now-I’ve put you through this little test this morning to show you how easily we fall for misconceptions in life. And because we do, we end up basing many of our opinions and actions on things that are just not true. Well, one subject area that tends to foster a great many misconceptions concerns today’s teenage population-and adults seem to be very susceptible to this particular brand of “urban myths.” Of course this is not good for us as Christians because the Scripture we just read very clearly teaches that every a local church is to function as one body-and like a real body, each part is important. If there is not clear understanding and cooperation between each body part, then that body is not healthy and cannot function as Christ, the Head, would want.This morning I want us here at Redland to try to better understand the wonderful teens who are part of our church family-those adolescents who worship and grow along with us-by casting the light of truth on some of the misconceptions that we have about teens-things that we think are true but in fact are not.
Now-I realize that this was not my original sermon plan. Today I had intended to deal with the marriage of David and Bathsheeba. But over the past few weeks, I have felt the HEAD leading me to preach on this issue instead. I’ve always wanted to do a sermon series on the life of David so perhaps some day soon we will revisit David and Bathsheeba in that context.
Okay-back to today’s topic. What are some misconceptions that we tend to buy into when it comes to today’s young people? I came up with five and the first one is this:
1. These days many adults believe that youth ministry is just FUN and GAMES.
They erroneously think that nothing serious goes on in your typical youth program-that all that youth leaders do is order pizza, run weird relays, and play paint ball. In their opinion little or no REAL ministry takes place. They believe that working with teens is both FUN and EASY. Well, this is a huge misconception because working with today’s teens in such a way that you try and meet their unique needs can be an incredibly difficult job. In fact I think Steve would tell you that most of the time it is an OVERWHELMING task. To help you understand WHY this is so-why it can be such a difficult job-let me give you a brief snapshot of the life of today’s teens.
A. First of all, they live in a world of RAPID CHANGE.
They are of course going through the inevitable PHYSICAL changes that come with adolescence but their WORLD is almost constantly changing as well. This means that-in a time when they need something permanent-something fixed-today’s teens have to deal with a great deal of instability. Let me try and explain what I mean.
A few of generations ago, it would have been common for a person to spend the first 18 years of his life in the HOUSE where he was born. This was a source of stability for him-especially in the teen years. Well these days this is a luxury that only a very small minority of teens enjoy. Due to changing job markets teens and their families move and move often. Here at Redland we are very aware of the fact that we have families moving in and out of here all the time.
Only a few of generations ago, it would have been common for a person to spend the first 18 years of his life in the CHURCH where he was dedicated. He felt roots in that place-there were adults he had known since childhood who had been a part of his spiritual growth. But now-now it is common for many families to change churches almost as often as they change homes. You see, many adults these days look for a church to meet their needs-instead of looking for a church in which to serve, so when one church doesn’t satisfy, they move on. This means that nowadays you have two kinds of teens in a youth group-those who have grown up in the church and those who haven’t.
Another thing-many teens today have no HERITAGE OF FAITH. That is to say, they were not taken to church as children but rather are brought here by teenage friends, so they often don’t have the STABILITY of parents and grandparents who embrace a personal faith in Jesus Christ and who have taught them the truth of God’s word. As teens they are just starting down the road of spiritual maturity without the benefit of years of children’s Sunday School and Vacation Bible School and graded choirs, etc..
Only a few generations ago, it would have been common for a teen to have his biological mom at home and his biological father at work during the day. But, due to the high cost of living-especially here in Montgomery County-which often requires both parents to bring home a paycheck, this stability is a luxury that a mere 4 percent of today’s teens enjoy.
So-the next time you observe some “ridiculous” teen behavior and you scratch your head and mutter under your breath, “What is wrong with teens today!” realize that much of what is wrong is related to this ROOTLESSNESS that they have to deal with.
I once read recently of an incident that illustrates this point. In a typical suburban middle school the teacher gave his 8th graders an assignment. Part of it was to complete a worksheet containing six questions:
- What is your father’s name?
- Where was he born?
- When was he born?
- What is your mother’s maiden name?
- Where was she born?
- When was she born?
Well, this seemingly simple assignment threw the whole class into chaos. The students had such unusual personal histories that the questions had no simple answers. Our teens do indeed live in a world of rapid change. In fact this became evident to me as I studied for this message. My youth ministry books-even those that are just 5 years old are already out-dated. I’m thankful that Steve’s library is much more up-to-date and I greatly appreciate his help in gathering current information for this message.
B. Another thing we need to know is that today’s teens walk through a MORAL MAZE.
Only a few years ago we used to say that our adolescents were growing up in an R-rated world. In my opinion it is now X-rated and if you doubt this, then I challenge you to stand and listen in the hall of a high school on a typical week day. Watch an evening of prime-time television. Listen to the radio. Walk down the street. Read a magazine. Look at billboards. Contrast that with any of those same activities 10 or 20 years ago, and you will realize how much filth our adolescents live with every day. In fact they live with filth so much that it doesn’t seem like filth to them. It seems normal.
Yesterday my daughter, Sarah, who is just finishing the 8th grade told us about a discussion she had with her friends in which she told them that Jesus Christ had died for our sins and that this made it possible for us to have eternal life. Well, their response was, “What’s so bad about sins? Why would Someone have to died for mine? What’s the big deal about sin?” My daughter’s friends had little or no concept of right and wrong. And this is no doubt a result of the fact that at a time when teens are searching for roots and direction, moving from concrete to abstract thinking, searching for something to believe in, at a time when their hormones are running amok, they have to process more garbage and make more moral decisions in a week-than some of us made during our entire adolescence.
The point I am trying to impress upon you is that it is a tough time to be a teenager! They live out Proverbs 14:12 every day as they are constantly faced with temptations that, “seem right to yield to—but lead to destruction.” And tragically many of these kids are making wrong choices. Consider these sobering statistics:
o Every day nearly 8,000 teens become sexually active.
o Every day over 3,000 run away from home.
o Every day nearly 3,000 witness their parent’s divorce.
o 70% of today’s high school seniors know of a peer who attempted to commit suicide.
o 66% have gambled in the past year, and, by the way, teens are twice as likely as adults to become addicted to gambling.
o Two out of every three teens know someone who practices an openly gay lifestyle.
o Illicit drug use doubles during the adolescent years.
I could go on quoting depressing statistics like this all day long which I hope helps you to realize how difficult it can be to minister to today’s teens. It is NOT all fun and games. Steve and his volunteers lovingly deal with young people who are struggling with very real crises. They use every tool at their disposal to help them through what can be a very difficult-even dangerous period in life-all the time sharing God’s love with them.
And then, a second misconception that many adults buy into these days is this:
2. They believe that teens don’t want any BOUNDARIES in life.
Now-most teens won’t admit this but they do want solid guidelines. They gain assurance and comfort from knowing that there are rules they can rely on. In fact a study was done a few years ago that showed that juvenile offenders who had parents who did NOT give them boundaries said things like this: “I wish my parents would shake me up…punish me when I first go wrong…tell my why things are wrong…convince me that more severe measures will come if I continue to misbehave. I wish they would call my bluff and stand firm on what is right, even when I threaten to run away or drop out of school.”
Other studies show that when teens are given FAIR and CONSISTENT guidelines they are more likely to feel loved and valued. These same studies show that when they are not given them they tend to feel unloved and insecure. In his book, Adolescence Isn’t Terminal, Dr. Kevin Lehman tells of a girl named Janice who raced in the house one day and asked her mom if she could go for a ride with some friends. The mother asked who these friends were and Janice told her it was some college boys that she met at a football game recently. Her mother said what I would say, “Absolutely not! I haven’t met these young men and you have no business driving around with guys in their twenties, when you are barely 16!” Janice went outside to her friends and said, “Sorry. I can’t go. My antediluvian parents want to spoil my life!” Well Janice eventually admitted that when she told the boys this-that her mom wouldn’t let her go-she said that inside she was doing cartwheels of joy and relief. She sensed danger in riding in the car with those guys, but she was too embarrassed to admit it. She didn’t want to be the spoil sport and was delighted to have her mom play that role. So, teens like Janice need and want us to give them boundaries. They may never admit this to your face but they yearn for the security that your rules bring!
With this fact in mind, imagine how today’s teens feel as they grow up in a world that doubts the existence of moral absolutes-or boundaries of right and wrong, true and false, good and evil. Think of the insecurity they feel as their personalities are being formed in a world in which “anything goes,” and there are fewer restrictions or limits on what you believe or how you act. Many adults erroneously believe that this philosophy is very enlightening and affirming, but in reality it is terrifying to most kids. They would prefer to know the truth. Today’s teens don’t the uncertainty of statements like “every truth is equally valid.” No-they want some thing to cling to-a rock of absolute truth to build their lives upon rather than trying to build on shifting sand.
So it is an “urban myth” to say that teens don’t want absolutes. They desperately need them. They gain comfort from God Who as James 1:17 puts it, “…does not change like shifting shadows.” They are re-assured by the truth that, “the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.” (1 Peter 1:25) They need to hear us show by the way we live our lives that, “…all God’s commands are trustworthy….and that Your word, O Lord, is eternal…It stands firm in the heavens. (Psalm 111:7-8) They need to know that in the sinful world they live that, “…a young person can keep his or her way pure by living according to the unchanging word of God.” (Psalm 119:9) They need to see hear you say that you believe the Bible is true and that it’s teachings are absolute. They need you to share the experiences in your life that have proved to you that God’s word is something you can cling to-something you can build a life upon.
And then a third misconception that is popular with many adults these days is this. They observe adolescent behavior and assume that…
3. …they aren’t growing SPIRITUALLY.
Now-we fall for this misconception because many times when it comes to adolescent spiritual growth, the PROCESS doesn’t always look like PROGRESS. Steve and his volunteers see a lot of heartbreak in youth ministry. As we all know (by experience), teens do some pretty dumb things. Well sometimes we look at their foolish behavior and think: “THOSE TEENS ARE NOT MAKING ANY PROGRESS AT ALL!!!” But this is a judgmental opinion that is usually very inaccurate because God is often at work behind the scenes growing our kids.
It may not look like it but progress is being made nonetheless.
You know, I remember when Sue became pregnant with DANIEL-our first child-and I was so excited! I could hardly wait to be a father! So I read all the pamphlets and books on pre-natal development. I even had one that told what happened everyday that he was in the womb. And I kept up. I would read and say, “SUE—DANIEL has just developed fingernails—today” or “Sue—Daniel doubled in size—TODAY.” I was very aware that inside SUE progress was being made in the development of our first child. We took the LAMAZE child-birth classes and I memorized all the stages of labor, their duration and characteristics. I was determined that when the time came-I would be ready to monitor the progression of his birth so when June 23, 1983 dawned I felt prepared. I had my notes. I had my dog-eared copy of the little pamphlet titled: Stages of Labor. I was ready to go. But you know-it did not happen at all like it said it would in that little pamphlet. The stages of Sue’s labor did not last as long as they were supposed to and she even skipped some stages. I remember that at one point I was almost certain she actually regressed and went from let’s say the 4th stage back to the 2nd. As the hours clicked by, I began to doubt that we were making any progress at all and wanted to raise my hand and ask the doctor and nurses, “Hey, it doesn’t look like we are moving forward here. What’s up?”
Well, you know, many times we look at our teens and watch them as the LABOR to grow in Christlikeness and wonder the same thing, “What’s up? You call this PROGRESS?!” Well it is! Trust me-many times God is at work in their lives-but in ways that are not observable! Adults need to remember what Paul said in Philippians 1:6 about a church full of young believers, “I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” God will bring our teens to completion. But it takes time and the truth is… it usually does not happen while we have them in our youth ministries. Working with teens is really more of a SOWING ministry so we don’t always get to see the progress. That comes later.
This week Steve shared with me the mission statement he has developed for our youth ministry here at Redland and it reflects this understanding. Listen to how it goes: “Our goal is to reach out to youth and equip them so that they may BEGIN the process of becoming fully devoted followers of Christ!” So-don’t fall for the myth that says you can look at a teen and see whether or not they are growing spiritually. Most of the time they are or at least they are TRYING to-and if they aren’t growing in the right direction our response should not be to judge them but to lovingly guide them back toward growth!
A fourth misconception that many adults unfortunately buy into is this. They erroneously think,
4. ….that teens are influenced more by their PEERS or today’s CULTURE than they are by PARENTS or ADULTS.
We look at all the foolish behavior that teens embrace and we tend to point the finger of blame at poor peer groups or the negative influence of TV, movies, music, etc.-things like that. But you know-in reality-these things are not the strongest influence in the life of a teenager. In fact, dozens of studies have been done in an effort to find out what it is that has the greatest power over the way a teen thinks and the results always come out something like this:
- Parents first, then
- Extended family,
- Other significant adults (teachers, coaches, pastors, mentors, etc.),
- Same age peers, and finally
- The media
That may shock you parents out there but this research shows that YOU rank #1 with your child even during their teen years. They care more what you say than what anyone else says. They yearn for adults who have experienced life to love them enough to guide them. The problem is not the negative influence of our kids’ peer group and the media. These influences always come in dead last. The problem is that the other more important influences at the top of the list—parents, extended family, other significant adults-have stopped doing their job. You see, if kids spend very little time with their parents or have no parents to spend time with…if they have no extended family, and have no significant adults in their lives, this leaves the peer group and the media to be the PRIMARY influencers of kids. They become most influential things in their lives by default.
So today, our young people are not being destroyed because they are surrounded by bad influences. Teens have always been subject to the negative influence of our sinful world. The problem today is the fact that they lack “righteous people” in their lives to make a difference-strong family, loving parents, adult mentors. As Prov. 29:15 reminds us, “A child left to himself disgraces his mother.” Too many of today’s children are left to themselves. Too many do not have adults to look to for positive influence. Too many of us parents spend little or no time with our teens. This is bad news because the BEST way to deal with negative influences is not through programs and discussion groups on peer pressure, rock music, TV and the like. The most effective way-is to give them a more powerful influence-“righteous” adults who care about them and want to be friends and mentors. And this is the way it is supposed to work in the church as the older parts of this body work to care for and nurture the growth of the younger parts.
Now-I know that I am biased but I am very proud of the way my son, Daniel has turned out. I am also very proud of my awesome daughters-but in the interest of time, let’s focus on Daniel. He is a fine young man. He’s doing great in college. He’s growing in his faith. He’s involved in ministry at a reform school near his college-but Sue and I can’t take all the credit for that. No-much of the credit goes to this church. To illustrate that I want you to stand if you have had any interaction with Daniel over the years…if you taught him in Sunday School or worked with him in graded choirs or RA’s or Vacation Bible School or watched him in the nursery. If you baked cookies or made candy to send him at college or if you wrote to him. If you’ve ever chaperoned a youth function that he attended-mission trips, Centrifuge….If you have had any involvement whatsoever in my son’s life here at REDLAND….would you please stand? THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!! We couldn’t have done it without you!
Well, every teen who walks through these doors needs that kind of mentoring. They need adults to give them time. They need us to learn their names and get to know them. They need us to become involved in their lives. It is important that we do so because far too many adults buy into what I think is one of the most damaging misconception of all. You see many adult church members…
5. ….believe youth ministry is not their JOB.
They think, “After all, that’s why we hired Steve.” Well, if you hear nothing else this morning, hear this. As a member of the body of Christ that is known as Redland Baptist Church-you have a responsibility to ALL parts of this body-and that includes the adolescents that God has brought into our church family. Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said, “In a Christian community, everything depends on whether each individual is an indispensable link in a chain.” Perhaps when he said this he was thinking of the passage from 1 Corinthians that we read a moment ago:
“…there should be no division in the body, but its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it.”
There is an old African proverb that says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Well, as Steve told our deacons this week, when it comes to teenagers, “it takes a church.” In other words-our teens need your help! And YOU can be a tremendous help…because as I have said what a teen needs most is simply someone older and wiser to go to when they have a problem-someone they can talk to-someone they know cares about them. Now you may be cringing at the thought. You may be thinking…Me—relate to teens—I can’t even understand them! Maybe this poem expresses your feelings: “I do not dig this teenage prose. It’s inner meaning I suppose, is what it was when I was young; But they don’t sling the slang I slung!”
Well, don’t worry about the slang-that’s not important. In fact I have found that teens thing adults who try to talk or act like teens appear to be kind of foolish. So just be the adult you! Remember, already have plenty of peers-what they need is adults. Teenagers tend to look up to the oldest person they can find who will take them seriously and treat them with dignity and respect…someone who remembers their name and shows an interest in their life…someone who lets them know that when they fail, you will still love them.
You know, most of the time churches look at their youth as a part of the body of Christ to ignore until it matures. They think things like, “Those teens! All they do is spill cokes and drive crazy. I wish they would grow up! Well, I want us here at REDLAND to guard against that kind of thinking. In fact I want us to make a conscious effort to become involved in the lives of the teens that come through our doors. I want each of us to think of ourselves as YOUTH MINISTERS. On this FATHER’S DAY, let us remind ourselves that all of us have the God-given responsibility to help parent the teens in our church.
In the video we saw at the beginning of our service Olympic athlete Derek Redmon’s father came down on the track to help his son that day simply because he was his father. As father and son, they’re family and family helps family. Well, the teens in our church are our family too. The question this morning is: “Will you remain a spectator in the stands simply content to watch them run life’s race…even criticize them from afar or will you come down from the stands to put your arms around them and help them know that you love them too much to let them run alone?”
As we come to our time of decision, you may need to repent of the misconceptions you have embraced about our youth here at Redland. You may need to say, “God, forgive me for the things I’ve thought….for the times when, instead of helping I only criticized.” You may need to go to Steve and say, “I’m available. What do you need me to do?” God may be simply telling you, to get to know one of our teens. I love Boyd Robinson’s old saying, “Have you hugged a youth today?” Have you? Have you told one of our teens that you love them and believe in them and want God’s best for them-that you are there to help?If you are here this morning, you may have realized that you need something or rather Someone to believe in-Someone to serve as an anchor in your life. In other words, you see your need for truth-If that applies to you then I encourage you to come and commit to follow Jesus Christ-God’s only Son-Who died on the cross for your sin. God may be calling you this morning to join this church in its God given mission-to become a part of this body. However God leads, won’t you come now-as we stand and sing?