Lust

p>Proverbs 7:1-27

1 – My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.

2 – Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.

3 – Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 – Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman;

5 – they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.

6 – At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice.

7 – I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.

8 – He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house

9 – at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.

10 – Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.

11 – (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;

12 – now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)

13 – She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:

14 – “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows.

15 – So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!

16 – I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt.

17 – I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.

18 – Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!

19 – My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey.

20 – He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.”

21 – With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.

22 – All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose

23 – till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.

24 – Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say.

25 – Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths.

26 – Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.

27 – Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.

Since 9-11 our nation has been at war with terrorism. Experience gleaned from the last four painful years has taught us that to be victorious we must use tactics that are different from those that were used in past wars. For example: We need better intelligence and we also need a smaller-more mobile-military. Plus we have had to be CONSTANTLY vigilant-not just overseas but here in the U.S. as well because this war is fought, not just by soldiers but by airport luggage inspectors and security personnel-even by everyday Americans who keep their eyes open for suspicious activity. In fact, there is a very real sense in which ALL of us are combatants in this war. I thought about this as I prepared for today’s message…because in this installment in our study of seven of the deadliest sins-we are focusing on a WAR that ALL people wage-another war that requires unique tactics to win.

You can tell by looking at your bulletins that I’m referring to the battle we all wage with a sin known as LUST. Charles Swindoll refers to this common struggle by saying, “Lust is no respecter of persons. It never gives up; it never runs out of ideas. Bolt your front door, and it will rattle at the bedroom window, crawl into the living room through the TV screen, or wink at you out of a magazine in the den.”

Now, any military tactician worth his uniform will tell you that, the first thing you need to do to WIN a war is KNOW your opponent.

So let’s take a moment to understand our enemy in this deadly conflict. What exactly is LUST? Well, lust is basically a form of TEMPTATION-and like contemporary terrorism, the temptation to lust attacks on multiple fronts. It comes at us in several ways-but they each fall into one of three categories.

A. The first is MATERIAL temptation-or a lust for THINGS.

The THINGS we lust for may be as large as a house or as small as a ring-as bright and dazzling as a new sports car-or as dull and dusty as a two-hundred-year-old antique dresser. Material temptation is a hunger for material wealth-a yearning for MAMMON. Think of it as a form of a sin we talked about a couple months back known as GREED.

B. And then second, there’s PERSONAL temptation-or a lust for STATUS.

This is a longing for special recognition-that comes with things like fame, fortune, power, or authority. It’s a desire to be noticed. It’s wanting a title that will make heads turn, like “top executive” or “president” or “executive director” or even “dictator.” Basically it’s a form of another sin we studied a while back-called PRIDE.

So there’s MATERIAL temptation and PERSONAL temptation…

C. …But the most COMMON form of this brand of temptation is SENSUAL or lust for another PERSON.

It’s the desire to have and enjoy the body of an individual, even though-or perhaps BECAUSE-such pleasure is illegal and/or immoral. The dictionary defines lust as, “an intense or unrestrained sexual craving” -and I came across some other definitions this week that help us better understand our opponent in this struggle. For example, Maxie Dunham says, “Lust is a preoccupation with the object of our desire.” In his book, Godric, Frederick Buechner describes sensual lust like this: “It is the ape that gibbers in our loins. Tame him as we will by day-he rages all the wilder in our dreams by night. Just when we think we’re safe from him, he raises up his ugly head and smirks….” Another writer said, “Lust is the athlete’s foot of the mind.” -an insatiable itch. Bill Hybels writes, “Lust is the reduction of a human being, a person made in the image of God, to a body-a thing capable of satiating our sexual desires. When we lust we don’t care if that person matters to God. We don’t care if that person has parents or brothers and sisters that love him or if they have kids we only care that this person satiates our physical needs.”

Well, however you define it, I’m sure you’ll agree that lust definitely deserves a spot at the top of the most destructive sins. And we need HELP in winning this unique war for two reasons.

1. First, we live in a SEX-SATURATED SOCIETY.

One reason so many people in our culture struggle in this area is because society seems to go out of its way to encourage lust by presenting us with a perpetual stream of sexually tempting images. From television to magazines and the entertainment industry, we are constantly bombarded with sexual messages and innuendoes. This probably doesn’t surprise you-but “SEX” is the most frequently used WORD on Internet search engines. It’s used to guide people to over a million pornographic web sites. Sex is also the most popular “hook” used to attract viewers to mainline talk shows and films. In our society sex is used to sell everything from perfume to high performance vehicles to hamburgers at Carl, Junior-thanks to the “acting” skill of Paris Hilton. I mean, ours IS indeed a SEX-saturated culture. It’s every where you look.

In fact, I defy you to listen to a conversation at the office without an off-color joke eventually emerging or to read the newspaper without finding a sexually explicit advertisement or to make it through a night of television without finding somebody who’s climbing into bed with somebody he or she is not married to. This is almost impossible to do because 90% of all sexual encounters on television and the movies are between unmarried people? And TV shows are saturated with them. An American Family Association study found that in a typical hour of prime time television these days TV characters talk about or engage in sexual activity about 15 times. That’s once every four minutes. So-before the average American turns eighteen, he or she has witnessed more than 70,000 images of sex or suggested sexual intercourse between people who aren’t wed to each other. All this goes to show that our culture is PRO-lust.

2. And then a second reason we need help these days is because in the past, the CHURCH has done a poor job in EQUIPPING us to win this battle.

I mean, the sad truth is church leaders have been fairly silent on the topic of sexual lust for decades. A few years ago the chaplains at the University of Nebraska took a survey of incoming freshmen and asked them this question: “How much influence did your church play on your views of sexuality?” Of the freshmen surveyed, only 2 percent said that they church had ANYTHING to do with their views of sexuality….ONLY 2 PERCENT! I think these young adults replied in this way because down through the years pastors have said very little about this subject from their pulpits.

And often, when Christian leaders HAVE dealt with the issue of sexuality, they’ve misinterpreted the Bible’s teachings. I mean, the message that has been most often repeated is this: “Sex is bad! Save it for marriage!” Well, the Biblical truth is that sex is not bad. In fact it is very good! It’s wonderful-WHEN IT IS EXPERIENCED WITHIN GOD’S GUIDELINES. In any case, due to the fact that the world says so much about sex and the church so little, many people-some of them Christians-have come to believe that, while God may be omniscient and omnipotent-and while He’s certainly holy and merciful-the truth of the matter is that when it comes to sex, people really know better than He does. More and more of us have come to think that the Bible is outdated and outmoded when it comes to this issue. Well, nothing could be farther from the truth because, God’s Word contains everything that is true and lovely and right about sexuality. And, unlike today’s media and the often SILENT church, God’s written word tells it like it REALLY is: from the rapture of married love, to the agony of adultery, from the struggle for sexual purity to the ever-present temptations of desire.

With that in mind I want us to look at four things that God has to say about this particular deadly sin. Think of them as battle tactics in this war we all fight or better yet, “FOUR MUSTS WHEN IT COMES TO BEATING LUSTS.”

1. First, we MUST…MAKE an ADVANCE commitment to live according to God’s standards.

Remember, no one remains morally pure automatically. It requires a personal commitment. As verse 25 says we must decide ahead of time not to, “let our heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths” and instead to follow God’s loving guidelines. Winning this war with lust involves making a commitment when we are STRONG as to what we will do BEFORE we become WEAK and vulnerable to this powerful form of temptation. The young man in our text from Proverbs made his first fatal mistake by “going down the street near the adulteress’ corner.” Solomon tells us he lacked judgement. In other words, he had not thought about this earlier and made a decision-a JUDGEMENT-that it would be best for him to steer clear of this woman.

And, because he hadn’t, he had already lost the battle. The 16th century French Theologian, Franccois Fenelon, wrote this: “We are not masters of our own FEELINGS, but we are, by God’s grace, masters of our CONSENT.” In other words we CAN control our desires. We aren’t dumb animals. We have the freedom of choice-and when it comes to lust the best time to make that choice is ahead of time.

Now-this pre-deciding-this saying, “I’m not going there!”… it’s not legalistic. It’s just being honest and realistic about ourselves and God’s standards. It’s saying, “I know God’s laws are for my good. I know this behavior will make me vulnerable. I know it could lead me to break God’s laws so I’m not going there.” This is what Job was talking about in Job 31:1 when he said, “I made an agreement with my eyes. I promised not to look at another woman with sexual longing.” In other words, old Job knew he had a weakness in this area so ahead of time he drew a line in the sand and said, “I’m not crossing this line. I’m not going there. I’m not even going to put myself in a place where I can look at a woman long enough to stir lustful thoughts.” Of course King David learned this lesson the hard way. His succumbing to Bathsheeba’s visual stimuli led him to write in Psalm 101:3, “[From now on] I will set no vile thing before my eyes.” This same battle tactic is what Paul was referring to when he wrote to young Timothy and said, “Run from anything that gives you evil thoughts.” Or as Erwin Lutzer paraphrases it, “Run from temptation without leaving a forward address.” This is a very effective tactic in our struggle with lust because if we make this commitment ahead of time it will be easier for us to steer clear of things that fan the flame of our sinful desires. Here’s a few examples of how this tactic can pay off:

• When a movie we are watching begins to prompt sinful thoughts-if we’ve made this pre-decision, it will be easier for us to get up and leave – or better yet not to go see movies like that in the first place.
• When dirty jokes start at work or school, it will be easier for us to resist peer pressure and say, “Hey guys I don’t think this is appropriate.” -or to just walk away.
• When something comes on TV that is suggestive we’ll more likely to hit the channel change button on the remote.
• When someone flirts with us at the grocery store or stoplight-or at church, we’ll be better equipped to do a 180.
• When we see something on a magazine cover that invites us to open it and see more, we’ll be more likely to have the will-power to pick up the Readers Digest instead.

So, the first tactic in winning when it comes to our struggle with this sin is to decide IN ADVANCE to do what the Bible says. This prior decision helps us to say “NO!” to lust when it attacks. Matthew Rogers tells of a friend who had an interesting encounter while traveling. He’s apparently a good-looking guy who was flying on Delta airlines. Well, he and a female flight attendant struck up a conversation. In the course of the conversation, he could see where it was heading so he wasn’t surprised when she leaned over and touched him on the leg and said, “I just want you to know….Delta is ready when you are.” He quickly put up his hand and said, “No thanks. I fly United.” This husband was able to resist the lure of lust because he had decided ahead of time to live according to God’s standards.

2. This leads to a second thing we must do to win in this struggle is this. We must MAINTAIN our marriages.

You see, the truth is many husbands and wives yield to lust because they believe sexual satisfaction is found elsewhere. They think, “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence…” with the desperate housewife or house-husband who lives next door. Well, hear me on this! The grass is NEVER greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. And God encourages husbands and wives to water each other’s grass! You see, God designed MARRIAGE to meet our inborn needs for physical intimacy. That’s the way we are wired, so the more you maintain your marriage-the less vulnerable you will be to sexual sin. As Paul says in 1st Corinthians 7: “…since there is so much immorality, the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2-3, 5)

And then, as Proverbs 5:18-19 says to husbands, “Rejoice in your wife. Let her charms and tender embrace SATISFY you. Let her love ALONE fill you with delight.” Now, the Hebrew the word we translate as “rejoice” here means “glitter, sparkle…get excited.” And I share this little Hebrew lesson to help you realize that sex within God’s guidelines IS exciting-far more intense and wonderful than anything the world offers. I mean, there’s a lot more GLITTER and SPARKLE in marital sex than people realize. I take the time to point this out because there is a misconception in the world today that monogamous Christians are somehow sexually repressed-that sex within God’s guidelines is not as “FUN”-that if you follow God’s rules and regulations in this area you WON’T be satisfied-that you’ll miss out in some way. But nothing could be farther from the truth. You see, obeying God in this arena provides us with the purest form of pleasure…precisely because God has created us in such a way that husband and wife can experience a oneness than is impossible for a man and woman otherwise. His will is that husbands and wives would enjoy a vital, regular, and mutually satisfying physical relationship that get’s better and better over the years. I mean, God is pro-sex. It was His idea-so sex IS wonderful when it is done within the context of His commands. I see some of you blushing-but hang with me here. The latest research by social scientists is confirming over and over again that this is true. A study published in 1994 by the University of Chicago came up with the following conclusions:

Married couples reported being the most physically pleased and emotionally satisfied.

• The lowest rate of sexual satisfaction was among single men and women-the very ones presumed to be having the hottest sex.
• The group having the most sex is not the young and footloose but the old and married.
• Physical and emotional satisfaction started to decline when people had more than one sexual partner.
• Those who live together before marriage have a 50% higher possibility of divorce than those who do not.
• These scientists admitted being especially surprised when their data revealed that the most consistently sexually-satisfied women in the country were conservative Protestants.

All of whom had a greater & more pleasing sex life than did those with no religious affiliation!. I mean, again and again there has been independent confirmation by social scientists that God’s plan for our sexuality really does make sense. It really is the best. The biblical truth is that sex DOES thrive in an atmosphere of committed love. People who ignore God’s guidelines in this area don’t know what they’re missing! They’re settling for “popcorn and french fries” when they could have “steak and lobster!”

3. And then a third-and very powerful weapon in our war with lust is this. To win we must… MEMORIZE and USE Scripture.

This is what God is saying at the beginning of our text: “My son, keep My words and store up My commands within you. Keep My commands and you will live…they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.” (Proverbs 7:1-2, 5) This battle tactic is what Psalm 119:11 is referring to when it says, “I have hidden Your word I my heart so I won’t sin against You.” You see SCRIPTURE is a powerful tool in our battle with sin-especially the sin of lust. According to Ephesians 6, “…the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God…”-the BIBLE…is the only offensive weapon we have in this war.

And remember this is not a physical war. As Ephesians 6:12 says,”…our struggle is not against flesh and blood…but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world…” This war is spiritual in nature so our WEAPON needs to be spiritual in nature in order to be effective. And Scripture is a spiritual weapon.

Okay, let’s have a little “weapons training” here-let’s go down to the “shooting range” for a moment so we can understand HOW to use “the Sword of the Spirit.” Now, as we all know when lust attacks, it is almost impossible to think about anything else because our minds can only think of one thing at a time. So, trying NOT to think a lustful thought doesn’t work. For example, if I were to tell you to stop thinking about the number 7 would you? No-of course not. 7’s would fill your mind! So, we can’t stop thoughts of lust by trying NOT to think abut them…but rather to think about something else…and the best something else to think about is Scripture. It works every time. It’s like pouring water on a flame-and so to win with lust we must always keep our mental “buckets” full. When lust comes the best thing to do is obey Philippians 4:8 where it says, “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.”

Do that-use the Bible as a mental weapon. Have dozens of Scripture verses stored away in your mental arsenal. Here’s a few to commit to memory. Say them with me as they appear on the screen.

Colossians 3:5 -“Put to death whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 – “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God.”

1 John 2:16-17 – “For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

And don’t just THINK Scripture. When lust hits-SAY it out loud. Jesus used this tactic in His own battle with temptation. And remember, He was tempted in every way we are yet without sin. Well when our Lord was tempted in the desert for 40 days His response was to quote Scripture ALOUD from memory. Over and over again Jesus told satan, “It is written.” And this Greek phrase infers a VERBAL, VOCAL response. Jesus said the Scripture out loud. So when Lust attacks, follow His example and counterattack by quoting aloud from your Scriptural arsenal. Who knows, if the object of your desire is in earshot, it might help him or her as well!

So to win our war with LUST…we MUST…MAKE an ADVANCE commitment to live according to God’s standards…MAINTAIN our marriages….MEMORIZE Scripture.

4. …but I think the most effective tactic in this struggle is to …Maximize the CONSEQUENCES of yielding.

You see lust is deceptive. It tries to cancel out tomorrow’s consequences by emphasizing today’s delights. And, pardon the pun, but the NAKED TRUTH about lust is that the consequences of yielding to our sinful desires are always devastating. It always costs more than we would be willing to pay. People who embrace lust always lose because doing so always causes both us and our loved ones HORRIBLE pain. As Erwin Lutzer puts it, “Sexual sin promises like a god but pays like the devil.” And I also like the way Frederick Buechner puts it. He says, “Lust is the craving for salt by a man who is dying of thirst.” Christian Bovee puts it like this, “The body of a sensualist is the coffin of the dead soul.” These guys are all right-because lust always hurts! As Proverbs 6:27-29 says,”You can’t shovel fire into your lap without burning your clothes. You can’t walk on hot coals without burning your feet. It’s the same for anyone who has sex with another man’s wife. Anyone who touches her will be punished.” And as Galatians 6:7-8 says, “Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows The one who sows to please his sinful nature from that nature will reap destruction…”

And then, do you remember the words of our text for this morning? Proverbs 7 says that an individual who gives into lust is like, “…an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. [LUST] has brought many victims down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.” Now, there is a long list of painful consequences that come when we lose our battle with lust but they fall into three categories.

A. First, yielding to lust destroys RELATIONSHIPS.

James 4:1 says,”What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” And of course-so often they do. One husband confessed, “While my wife wand I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, ‘Was it worth the trouble you’re in?'”

We chuckle but the truth is, as James tells us, lust has caused quarrels-serious ones-conflict that has led to the destruction of marriages and families. One experienced marriage counselor took the time to actually list the agonizing relational consequences of yielding to the temptation of adultery. Here’s what he came up with:

• I will inflict untold hurt on my wife, who is my best friend and has been faithful to me.
• I will lose her respect, love, and trust.
• I will destroy my beloved daughters. All their lives, they will hurt if I do this.
• I might lose my wife and children forever.
• I will shame my family….my parents….my siblings.
• I will destroy my example and credibility….others may follow my example and yield to this sin.
• I could form memories and flashbacks that plague future intimacy with my spouse.
• I could cause a pregnancy that would be a lifelong reminder of my sin.

Think about that the next time you are tempted in this area. Lust destroys relationships.

B. And then lust also destroys CONSCIENCE.

I mean, the more you give in, the more sexually explicit filth you ingest, the more of your conscience is choked out. Whether it’s TV shows or movies or music or blatant pornography, eventually we lose the ability to judge right from wrong. As someone once put it, “If you give a pig and a boy everything they want, you’ll get a good pig and a bad boy.”

In her book, An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Haul writes, “It starts by using the desires of our flesh to lure us into its clutches. Through the imagination it gains access to our souls where it affects our belief systems, seeks to bend our wills to evil and causes devastation in our emotions. Then it closes in for the kill in our spirits. It violates our consciences, quenches our ability to know right from wrong, and shuts down our ability to talk with God. Once the spirit is dead, there is no real life in the body. We may be going through the motions of living, but no one is really home inside.”

C. And this leads to the third form of devastation lust causes. Unless we repent and turn from it, lust can destroy our walk with GOD Himself.

You see, inside we all know yielding to lust is wrong. We know that embracing sexual sin is at the same time rejecting God’s leading. So when we do yield, we naturally tend to shy away from talking with God in prayer. We shrink back from worshiping Him. We stop reading the Bible and interacting with Christian friends whose moral lifestyle only accentuates our own sin. Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes that when we give in to lust, “…joy in God is extinguished in us and we seek all our joy in the creature. At this moment God is quite unreal to us….He loses all reality, and only desire for the creature is real; satan does not fill us with hatred of God but rather with forgetfulness of God…”

And he’s right. Lust eats away at our relationship with God until nothing is less. Whenever we turn to embrace lust we are turning from the embrace of our Heavenly Father. In his 4th chapter James talks about people who say NO to God and YES to lust,”You adulterous people. Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” 1 John 2:15 says,”If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” So you see, longing for God and the lusts of the world are mutually exclusive. In fact, in Romans 1 Paul tells us that people who make this choice are under the WRATH of God. He says they spiral downward, deeper and deeper into sin. But God’s wrath isn’t what we think it would be. He doesn’t sent lighting bolts at lust-loving people. No, Romans 1:26 says that in His wrath”…God gives them over to shameful lusts.” In His holy anger God dooms these foolish people to getting their own way. As Mark Buchanan puts it, “When God’s anger reaches the level of wrath, it turns out, He doesn’t START punishing us. He STOPS.

He shows His wrath, not by thrashing us. It’s worse! He shows it by abandoning us, leaving us all to ourselves.”

Suffice it to say that lust can be incredibly destructive. As Erwin Lutzer puts it,”Better to die in the desert pleasing the Lord than to drink poison from the devil’s cisterns.”

I realize that our response to this morning’s message may need to be private. We may need to simply bow our heads and ask God to forgive us…praying that He would help us renew our minds so that we look at our sexuality from the unchanging perspective of the Bible as we commit to live according to the guidelines of our Creator instead of our culture. Husbands and wives may need to respond by promising to make time to renew their covenant to each other-to make their marriage-including its physical aspect-all that God intended it to be.

You may be on the brink of a sexual affair. You may have really messed up in this area-you may have given in to your lusts-but whatever your sin…don’t let it separate you from your loving Heavenly Father. Confess it to Him and ask His forgiveness and cleansing. Cling to the promise of 1 John 1:9 where God’s Word says, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

As we sing we certainly invite any of you who have public commitments to make to do so, whether they be to accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord or rededicate your life to Him or to join this church. I’ll be standing here at the front and would be glad to talk with you and pray with you. Won’t you come, as we stand now and sing?