Acts 2:42 – They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
43 -Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.
44 – All the believers were together and had everything in common.
45 – Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
46 – Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,
47 – praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Acts 4:32 -All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.
33 – With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.
34 – There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales,
35 – and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
One of the most popular past-times in America today is a thing called Facebook. Anybody heard of it?! Well, for the two or three of you who didn’t raise your hands, let me fill you in. Facebook is a social-networking website that was started in September, 2006 by Mark Zuckerberg, who at the time was a college student at Harvard. Today, Zuckerberg serves as Facebook’s CEO and Time magazine recently listed him as one of the world’s most influential people. As of last month, he is the youngest self-made businessman in history to be worth over a billion dollars.
Now, I’m not a Facebook user myself but when we say that Facebook is a social-networking website, that means it is a free Internet service that gives its users their own web page that they can then use to meet other Facebook users: aka “friends.”
And to help you understand here’s a Facebook web page that Abraham Lincoln might have had if they had it in his day. Note that his “status” says, “Abe is now headed for the theater.” Horace Greely has tagged a photo on Abe’s wall and Robert E. Lee posted a comment in which he says, “Sorry. I don’t trust you and I don’t like you.” Lincoln’s Facebook friends include people like Ulysses S. Grant and Frederick Douglas…and even Jefferson Davis.
By the way—the number of “friends” you have on your Facebook page is a big deal. I’m told that people often brag about how many “Facebook friends” they have. In fact, after a little research this week I came across a blog from a young man named Steve Hofstetter who claimed that at one point he had amassed 200,000 Facebook friends…until the programers at Facebook central “reset” his page because the size of his friend group was apparently slowing down the whole system. Now—you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet so Hofstetter’s story may not be true—but I tend to believe it because people can indeed amass a large “Facebook friend population.” My daughter Sarah told me she has nearly a thousand of these friends. No wonder she loves her laptop so much! All, kidding aside, having a lot of “Facebook friends” is a good thing because you can send each other messages and by keeping your profile and your “facebook wall” up to date with pictures and videos you can notify each other about your lives. Some Facebook users get a little extreme in that they let their facebook friends know when they are brushing their teeth or eating their breakfast, etc. But it can be a great way to interact with other people. I even read of a successful church start in Chicago that relied solely on targeted Facebook advertising.
Now—as I said, I don’t have a Facebook page—not because I’m opposed to it—but because I just don’t have the time. Sue is a Facebook member though and I must admit it can be worth the time. For example:
- It’s a great way to connect with friends—and not just current friends. With Facebook’s powerful search engine you can re-connect with old friends from decades ago.
For example, with Sue’s Facebook page we’ve caught up with people who were in our seminary church youth group 30 years ago. This is how I learned that one of my former youth is now a grand-mother. She started her family early—and so did her child—but it still made me feel old. And just the other day, Sue was “friend-requested” by a girl who served with her as a summer missionary in inner-city Baltimore back in the ‘70’s. That was very rewarding for them both.
- Don’t tell our girls but ANOTHER benefit of Facebook is that it makes it possible for parents to keep track of their kids—even if they are away at college.
With Sue’s help we constantly checks on our girl’s Facebooks and their friends Facebook pages. In fact, I think we know more about our girl’s college friends than they do! Any other of you college moms and dads out there using Facebook in this way?
Well, as I have inferred, Facebook has become incredibly popular. I read this week that currently there are 400 million Facebook users in countries all over the world. Entertainment Weekly put Facebook on its end of the decade “best list” and said, “How on earth did we stalk our ex’es, remember co-worker’s birthdays, bug our friends, and play a rousing game of Scrabulous—before Facebook came along?”
As I worked on this message this week I thought about Facebook and it’s popularity because I think it illustrates the fact that we all YEARN for friends. We all LONG to interact with people. I mean, we read a lot about the importance of getting our minimum daily requirement of certain vitamins—well, you could also rightly say we all have a minimum daily requirement of friends. None of us are self-sufficient. We need other people who care enough to help us make it through this life. As this Owner’s Manual says, “…it is NOT good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)
Last fall Sue went to Kenya with Nancy Faulconer to pay a visit to Cathie Burke. She was gone 10.63 days and after I dropped her off at the airport, I thought, “This is kind of neat. I can do what I want: eat what I want, watch the movies I want, take the garbage out when I want. No chick flicks for a while, I can watch stuff like “Master and Commander” or “We Were Soldiers.” Sure, I’ll miss my wife but this is going to be fun.” Well, it WAS fun, for about an hour and a half—and then I began to miss my friend. I missed talking to her. I missed telling Sue about my day and hearing about hers. I missed her insights into life’s dilemas and I began to count the days until she would return. Those 10.63 days seemed as if they would never pass. I even tuned into HGTV a coupe times. It was painful to be separated from my helpmate.
Well, the plain truth is that loneliness IS painful. If you doubt this, ask one of our widows who have been separated from their helpmates far longer than 10:63 days. Ask a kid at college who is far from home and feels like she doesn’t have any real friends. Ask a soldier on the battlefield in a foreign land. Loneliness DOES cause pain—almost like a physical ache. And doctors are discovering that not having your minimum daily requirements of friendships does indeed have a physical impact on our bodies. Dr. James Lynch, in his book The Broken Heart cites statistics showing that adults without deep relationships have a DEATH RATE that is twice as high as those who enjoy regular caring interaction with others. Perhaps this is because studies show that our relational life has just as much impact on our physical health as does obesity, smoking, high blood pressure, and lack of exercise.
All this is due to the fact that our Creator did not design us to live relationally disconnected lives. No…as Bill Hybels says, “God wired us with a desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, to serve and be served.” We were created to be in relationship—with God—as I told you last Sunday—and also with other people. We were designed for community.
Well, when Christ came He founded a very special group of people—a group of individuals whom He gifted to meet our relational needs. And the group I am referring to is of course THE CHURCH—specifically, a church FAMILY like the one described in today’s text a local group of Christ-followers like our own, people who acknowledge Jesus as head….people who relate to each other in a way that reflects Jesus’ sacrificial love for us all. The fact is, nothing meets our inborn need for friendship and fellowship like a healthy church family.
Think about it…our church family is a VERY important to us. These people are a central part of our lives. We see each other several times a week. We laugh together. We cry together. Our closest possible friends tend to be found in our church family. Many times even our physical family springs from the church. I mean…where did you find your spouse? Many of you, like me, found him or her in a church family—probably the same one in which the two of you were eventually married. Who gathered around you to pledge to work with you as you dedicated yourself to raise your children…so that they could come to understand and respond to God’s love in sending Jesus to earth? Right! It was your church family. When our children grow up and marry it is our church family who comes to witness their vows and to celebrate their union. When we grieve over the death of family members or spouses…our church family members come along side and cry with us and help us. When the doctor tells us we have a disease that just may take our lives it is usually not a neighbor or some co-worker at the office who enters into that crisis and says, “I understand.” No…it is most often someone from our church.
Even here at Redland, this VERY transitional church, where people are getting transferred in and out all the time—even when we only have a couple years together—we form significant relationships with each other and keep in contact all our lives—many times through Facebook! The bonds you form in a healthy church family are strong indeed!
This is because, in a church family that relates as Jesus intended, masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness grows. (Hybels) In a church body where Jesus is honored as head, AGAPE love—self-sacrificing love—abounds…and when it does people really do become brothers and sisters. They gather to share from their hearts on the deepest levels. They walk compassionately with each other through life’s problems and pain.
Now…no church family is perfect…but there really is nothing like the church family when it comes to providing us with our inner need for deep relationships with other people. This is another reason we exist—another reason we are here on Muncaster Mill Road. We LIVE to give this caliber of FRIENDSHIP. As we said a moment ago, God has called us to “affirm in the body of Christ.”
Now, what is it about the church that satisfies our friendship need? How are people like those sitting around you this morning able to meet your inborn fellowship requirement?
(1) First, they do this by giving each other UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance.
In most SECULAR people groups, acceptance is based on what you do or don’t do. But in a church family acceptance is not based on performance—on what we DO. No, it is founded on who we ARE—people whom Jesus Christ VALUED enough to DIE for. Mature believers understand this and obey texts like Romans 15:7 where it says, “Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you.” And—HOW did our Lord do that? How did Jesus accept us? Unconditionally! He opened His arms to us and LOVED US even while we were UNLOVELY…and church family members who truly make Christ Lord do the same for each other.
Gary Ingrid tells the story of some parents on the East Coast who got a telephone call from their son during the Korean war. He said he was on his way home and was in San Francisco. They were thrilled, because they had not heard from him in many months. He said, “Mom, I just wanted you to know that I’m bringing a buddy home with me. He got hurt pretty bad, and he only has one eye, one arm, and one leg. I’d sure like to let him live with us.” “Sure, son,” his mother replied. “He sounds like a brave man. We can find a room for him for a while.” “Mom, you don’t understand. I want him to come to live with us.” “Well okay,” she finally said. “We could try it for six months or so.” “No mom, I want him to stay with us. He needs us. He’s only got one eye, one arm, and one leg. He’s really in bad shape.” By now his mother had lost her patience. She said, “Son, you’re being unrealistic about this. You’re emotional because you have been in a war. That boy will be a drag on you and a constant problem for all of us. Be reasonable.” When she said this the phone clicked dead and the next day, they received a telegram telling them their son had committed suicide…apparently shortly after he hung up the phone. When his body arrived, his parents looked down with unspeakable sorrow on their dead son…who they could see now had one eye, one arm and one leg. He was the one who had been horribly wounded and disfigured in battle and he yearned to know that he was unconditionally loved in spite of it. That’s why he had called.
Well…all of us have this same inner longing to be accepted AS WE ARE…in spite of our character flaws, shortcomings, insecurities, and immaturity. In short, we need to know that someone accepts us because they WANT to, not because they HAVE to. We REQUIRE unconditional love. I’m not saying we need to ignore each other’s sinful ACTIONS, but we need to love SINNERS before we can help restore them and move them along to spiritual growth. David Smith defines friendship in this way, “A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become and STILL gently invites you to grow [in Christlikeness].” The Bible teaches us that Jesus was scandalously generous in distributing love. Wherever He went people sensed the unconditional love of God. And when Christians obey Jesus’ command…it is the same in the church. Well, Redland, this is part of what it means to be “grace-driven.” Since we know that as Acts 4:33 says, “much GRACE is upon us all,” we allow that grace to season our fellowship. And this “grace-factor” is what makes our relationships especially deep and meaningful.
Charles Swindoll tells of a former marine buddy recently converted to Christianity. This friend said the only thing he missed about his former way of life was the neighborhood bar. He described it as a place where he could go and find friends who would accept him as he was, listening to his problems in a non-judgmental way. Keith Miller talks about this in his book The Edge of Adventure: “The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give His church. It is an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality, but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. You can tell people secrets and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers.” Of course, I am not suggesting that we serve alcohol and set up a regular HAPPY HOUR but I do want us to realize that all people THIRST for grace. And if there is one place on this planet where a person should find acceptance and love…if there is one place where people can come to have their thirst for grace quenched it should be here. Remember, as 1 Peter 4:10 says, all Christians are, “stewards—dispenser—of the manifold grace of God.”
(2) Here’s a second thing that mature congregations do that meets our inborn need for genuine friendships. They obey God’s Word and share each other’s PAIN.
They obey texts like Galatians 6:2 where it says, “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” I have seen you do this for each other here at Redland time and time again. In fact, I only have to look back one week to find some great examples. Last Sunday in our first Connecticut Mission Trip planning meeting, our trip leader, Bill Jones, informed us that Brian Hart, the pastor of this new church start, has car problems. They have one car which allows his wife to work, but in order to for them to pay the bills he needs a job which means he needs a car as well. But their one car broke down recently and the mechanic says it is on it’s last leg so they really need two autos. Bill also shared that the basement in the parsonage has standing water in it most of the time. Well, after the meeting one person pulled me aside and said, “I have recently been blessed financially. I’ll buy that pastor a nice used vehicle. Just have him pick it out and send me the bill.” Another person went to Bill and said, “We have a good used car we were about to get rid of. We’ll give it to the Harts.” A third individual came up and said, “I will fix that standing water problem. Take that off your list. Consider it done.” These three people understand this principle of Biblical fellowship don’t they!? They shared this pastor’s struggles. They made his burdens their own.
Now, I must admit. I almost exerted pastoral authority and told Bill, that I would share all this good news with Pastor Brian…because I know how good it feels to tell someone things like this. And the reason I know how good it feels is because you guys are so good at doing amazing things like this. I’ve had a lot of experience going to someone and saying, “A member of our church wants to help you with a tangible need.” Here’s the check. I mean, I’ve seen the looks on their faces and it feels GREAT to see that look. By the way, Bill told me that Brian and Sherri Hart were BOWLED OVER when he shared all this good news with them! They were VERY encouraged! And they NEEDED encouraging. They are trying to plant a church in “ground” that has proven to be very hard indeed. Well, this is the kind of friendships you can find in a church full of maturing Christ-followers. I’m sure all of you could share your own stories of how a fellow church member came alongside you and in some tangible way shared your pain.
Now…why is this so? Why do you find people at church who will sacrifice to meet your needs? Well, it’s because each of us here have had our burdens lightened by the same Savior. Our sins have been washed away by the same blood. We all have the same Lord Who has laid down His life for us….and this inspires us to do the same for each other. Let me put it this way. Since we have all experienced God’s grace, it makes it possible for us to share true koinonia….genuine Biblical friendship. And that kind of friendship generates two very special KINDS of sharing.
First, as I said, we share some THING with someone…something tangible…like a car or our expertise on drying out basements. We help each other with concrete NEEDS like the Christians in the early church did when they, “…sold their possessions and gave to anyone as they had need.” But Biblical friendship is more than that because we also share something WITH someone. When fellow Christians go through tough times, we hurt WITH them. We rejoice WITH those who rejoice…and weep WITH those who weep. And it feels so good to have someone who will sincerely laugh WITH you and cry alongside you…or will just be WITH you when you are lonely or afraid. That kind of friend is precious indeed—and you tend to find them in churches like ours. Philip Yancey writes, “The church is a place where we can bring our pain, for it was founded by One Whose body was broken for us, in order to give us life.”
Do you remember Jesus’ invitation in Matthew 11:28? He said,“Come to Me all who are weary and over-burdened and I will give you rest.” Well a church is a place where people find this kind of rest because people share their life’s burdens with other Christians who love them right back in this Christlike manner. A church family tends to be a place where burdens are divided…and joys multiplied.
(3) Here’s a third way a healthy church is able to meet our relational needs. It does so by giving us both ENCOURAGEMENT and ADMONISHMENT.
Let me put it this way. A church family is where you find people who care enough about you to do all they can to help you become the person God wants you to be. It’s a place where you find people who love you such that they help you grow to your very best potential—and the TOOLS they use are these two things: encouragement and admonishment.
For example, in a church you tend to find people who know the importance of obeying the command of Hebrews 10:24 where it says, “Let us think of one another and how we can ENCOURAGE one another to love and do good deeds.” In Greek the word for encouragement is “paraklesis.” It is used more than a hundred times in the New Testament, so it is an important word for us to understand. It literally means, “called alongside to help” and that’s what Christians do for each other. They come alongside and help by encouraging us as we strive to grow in Christlikeness.
Hundreds of years ago Gregory of Nyssa, one of the early church fathers, explained it in this way:
“At horse races the spectators intent on victory shout to their favorites in the contest. From the stands they participate in the race with their eyes, thinking to incite the charioteer to keener effort, at the same time urging the horses on, while leaning forward and flailing the air with their outstretched hands instead of a whip. I seem to be doing the same thing myself, most valued friend and brother. While you are competing admirably in the ‘divine race’ along the course of virtue…I exhort, urge, and encourage you vigorously to increase your speed.”
Well, ole Gregory of Nyssa is right because the Christians who make up a healthy church family root for each other. They “spur each other on to love and good deeds” by encouraging them. In a church family we find people who are FOR us…people who believe in our God-given potential.
When I was in high school I played on the JV football team and my dad came to all the home games. I still remember his “Mississippi tenor” voice calling out from the stands. “Go Mark! You can do it!” Of course, I was usually sitting on the bench when he called out like that but it felt so good to know my dad “had my back” so to speak. And he did—throughout my life. Well, Christians are like that. You could say they are “bleacher people” because they cheer each other on in life. They celebrate each other’s victories and mourn their setbacks.
But…helping someone to reach their God-given potential is more than cheering. Often it involves correcting a brother or sister in the Lord when they sin and stray from that potential. This is the ADMONISHING part of helping someone to be their best. Immature believers shy away from this kind of discipline thinking that doing the “loving thing” means doing what the person they love would want them to do. This is of course, not love. It is not even sane. Try it with a three-year-old and odds are they’ll not make it to four. No…being FOR someone is a deeper quality of friendship than just wanting to spare them pain. If I am really FOR a person, then I am willing to risk saying painful things, if pain is the only way to push them toward growth. True love is ready to warn, reprove, confront or admonish when it is needed. The kind of friends you find in a healthy church family keep you on the cutting edge of personal growth, by encouraging your progress AND by being willing to speak the truth to you in love…even when it means a confrontation. As Romans 15:14 says, if we have real Christian character and experience we are, “…capable of keeping one another on the right road.”
So, church fellowship is not just enjoying each other’s company. It is taking seriously our God-given responsibility to help each other to mature spiritually. Let’s think of it this way. Part of the purpose of a biological family is to help each family member to grow from infancy to full physical and emotional maturity. Well, in a sense, the church—as a family of God—functions in the same way. You see, like a biological family, within any group of Christians there are people with different levels of maturity. Some have just been born again so they are infants in the faith. Others are spiritual adolescents. Others have been working at spiritual growth for decades and as a result are very mature….the pillars of the church. The mature ones help the ones who are younger in their faith. As someone once put it, the church is a “mothering community.”
It is a place where people are accepted at whatever level of maturity they are and then with the right blend of encouragement and admonishment, they are nurtured in such a way that they grow to full maturity in Christ. Ephesians 4:15-16 refers to this principle when it says,“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things GROW up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, GROWS and builds itself up in love as each part does its work.”
I once read an article in National Geographic magazine about mountain goats. It said that these goats live in a precarious environment. Any where you look it’s a long way to the bottom! You could say they “fellowship” on steep mountain cliffs where with one wrong move they can fall to their deaths. Young mountain goats—also known as KIDS—can be in special danger because of their inexperience and playfulness. In the article the author wrote that the kids are, “born to romp—and leap, twist, skip, prance but high spirits and wandering attention can be fatal for young goats.Fortunately, nannies dote on their offspring, tending them from the downhill side to block falls….” I think this is a perfect image of how mature Christians should care for new and maturing believers. New Christians will stumble and fall on occasion—that is certain—so we must tend them from “the downhill side,” ready to block them when they fall helping them to learn and even GROW from their mistakes. The church is a place of growth—not just growth by addition but also by nutrition. We don’t just lead people to Christ. We help them to grow and mature in Christlikeness. Robert Raines says,“The church is both evangelist and educator, both obstetrician and pediatrician, helping deliver those newly born in Christ and nurturing them from infancy to maturity in Christ.” This is another reason we long for friendships like the ones we find here. We all need help in growing and maturing.
Now…I know we have described the IDEAL today…No church…NOT EVEN REDLAND…is perfect in each of these three aspects of FRIENDSHIP. But this morning I hope we more clearly see the value…the importance…of relating to each other in these ways…and not just because it meets our relational needs. But because when Jesus commanded us to relate in this way He said that doing so gives evidence of our relationship with Him. Remember His words? In John 13:34-35 He said,“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this will all men know that you are My disciples if you love one another.” In other words…the way we relate has a direct impact on whether or not lost people recognize us as God’s children. This means, our behavior toward each other can affect whether or not an individual comes into relationship with God. They look at us to see if our walk with God makes any difference.
And because this is true, you can count on satan attacking us at this point. Experience has taught me that our adversary’s favorite tactic is to divide believers…to set them against each other over trivial issues, because the more he can do this…the more people he can keep from Jesus.
I’d like us to covenant anew together at Redland that we will not allow attacks like this to succeed…that we will do all we can to deepen our relationship with God…so that we can continue to be the kind of church family that loves unconditionally…that shares each other’s pain…that both encourages and admonishes in ways that help us each to become more and more like Jesus.
If you are not a member of our church family….then ask yourself…is God calling me to join this body of Christ? I can tell you from experience that my best friends in all the world are in this church. And I know I speak for them when I say we would love to welcome you to our “family.” And….if you are not a Christian then hear this. John’s gospel says,“Greater love has no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) That is just what Jesus Christ has done for you. He died for your sins. Won’t you respond by committing your life to Him as Lord and Savior? Any decision you have to make public, we invite you to do so now…as we stand and sing.
BENEDICTION:
Let the PEACE OF CHRIST rule in your hearts
since as members of one body you were called to peace.
Let the WORD OF CHRIST dwell in you richly
and whatever you do…in word or in deed
Do it all in the NAME OF CHRIST giving thanks to God the Father
through Him.